Why I Have a Strong Desire to Analyze
📖Author: Nao
⚠️ As this article concerns operational policy, it has not undergone any AI-based supervision whatsoever. Articles supervised by AI clearly state at the beginning that they are AI-generated.
Table of Contents
On this page, I shall discuss why I have such a strong urge to analyse things on this site.
Conclusion: Because I am a victim who suffered abuse, bullying, power harassment, and sexual harassment. To survive and adapt to such harsh environments, I found it difficult to switch off my thoughts, leading to an excessive analytical urge.
I have lived in a world where emotions were not permitted.
I cannot discuss specific descriptions of violence like abuse, bullying, or harassment, as I must assume children are reading.
However, from such adversity emerged the survival skill of “analytical ability”.
Of course, not everyone finds themselves in an environment where such skills can be acquired.
This is because the meaning of such victimisation experiences varies entirely from person to person.
Survival skills are ultimately dependent on individual differences and are merely secondary by-products; therefore, they are abilities one could, in principle, live without.
However, some readers might be wondering:
If acquiring survival skills can enhance work productivity, might they not ultimately become deliverables?
However, this is a complete misunderstanding.
Work productivity can be improved even without survival skills, through healthy living.
These skills must never be justified as tools to legitimise violence such as abuse, bullying, or harassment.
Yet it is also true that some people, like myself, have acquired ‘survival skills’ and adapted to survival strategies.
Therefore, while I do not deny the skills themselves, framing them as “achievements” risks generating excessively violent connotations. Hence, this site’s position is to describe them merely as ‘secondary by-products’.
What “Analytical Ability” Means to Me
For me, “analytical ability” involves suppressing emotions, confronting reality, and aspects honed as problem-solving skills.
However, before entering my thirties – during my teens and early twenties – I endured periods of extreme mental exhaustion. This stemmed from being bullied by teachers, experiencing power harassment, and working for exploitative companies, leaving me with minimal time for analysis.
A turning point arrived when I began working as a web designer at the age of 26.
During the first year, I was sidelined as I was unable to perform the job adequately. I desperately taught myself programming to adapt.
As a result, I obtained qualifications such as the Web Analytics Professional and HTML5 Professional Certification. I then focused on leveraging my programming skills to enhance work efficiency and customise e-commerce plugins.
This experience shaped me; whenever faced with a challenge, I developed a deep, problem-solving mindset and became adept at acquiring the skills needed to tackle issues.
However, a turning point arrived.
Following my transfer to a front-end engineer role, unreasonable deadlines and the refusal of paid leave led to my health deteriorating. Ultimately, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.
At the time, I was shocked, and once my delusions subsided, I panicked, thinking I needed to find work quickly or I wouldn’t be able to support myself.
However, under the strain of the situation, I returned to work after just two months and managed to work for two years. But I could no longer cope with the demands of the job, took a leave of absence, and ended up hospitalised for six months. Ultimately, I had no choice but to resign.
I tried to find work again afterwards, but I ended up being hospitalised at least once a year.
During this period, I began studying psychology, neuroscience, and medicine within the scope possible at home. This practice of patients learning medicine themselves is termed Patient Empowerment.
Consequently, I experimented with various approaches—cognitive behavioural therapy, ACT, mindfulness, exercise—and there was a period where I utilised these as data logs.
From 2026 onwards, I plan to resume data collection, documenting my health management practices, and documenting methods effective for me.
Analytical Ability and Survival Skills
Analytical ability serves as a survival skill, enhancing self-management capabilities as a health-benefiting skill.
However, it is also true that an excessive desire for analysis can severely deplete cognitive resources and lead to exhaustion.
Controlling one’s thoughts is crucial for health, but abruptly adopting a lifestyle that stops all thought risks creating high-stress situations, especially when the brain perceives the environment as unsafe.
While I wouldn’t call this state “recovery”, I continue to keep records now to foster a state where I can engage my thoughts moderately.
References
This is a list of references and websites consulted for this article.