There's no one who can replace you
📖Author: Nao
Whilst listening to The Police’s ‘Every Breath You Take’ (Japanese title: ‘Mitsumete Itai’), it suddenly occurred to me.
Translating the lyrics into Japanese reveals lines like ‘There’s no one else for me but you’, ‘There’s no one who could ever replace you’, and ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you’ – lyrics entirely devoted to thoughts of her.
But this psychological state, once you’re caught up in it, makes you completely unaware of just how dangerous your situation has become.
The hidden psychology stems from the belief that ‘no one else understands me (accepts me) like this person does’.
Furthermore, if this feeling is strong, even if the partner does things you dislike, you might not be able to say you dislike it yourself, or think ‘it’s my fault for being treated that way,’ or resign yourself to ‘it can’t be helped,’ or rationalise it with ‘this person is the only one for me,’ making it impossible to blame the other person and leaving you to bear the pain alone.
Moreover, driven by a constant fear of loss, you start to monitor the other person.
This is why the lyrics of ‘*Every Breath You Take (Japanese title: I Want to Keep Watching You)’ endlessly repeat the idea of constant surveillance.
However, this is actually nothing more than a delusion.
First, if this person were truly the only one, life without them would be impossible.
Their death certainly wouldn’t mean the end of your own life.
Yet, when you’re in such a state that you’ve lost the capacity for objectivity, regaining your composure at that moment is exceedingly difficult.
Take preventative measures daily to reduce the risk of developing this condition.
As discussed, falling into a state of believing there is no one else but this person is extremely dangerous.
It’s a state where you become blind to your surroundings, which is mentally taxing.
It may even heighten the risk of illness.
Therefore, as a preventive measure, this site strongly recommends habitually and firmly convincing yourself that ‘there are plenty of other good people besides this one’.
By taking preventative steps from the outset, you can suppress the risk of developing this condition.
Make it your mantra:
‘There are countless people who would accept me’
‘there are countless others who would be delighted to accept me’.
That’s it.
However, if you have a lover or partner, keep it moderate enough that you won’t cheat and suffer heartbreak.