‘There's no such thing as a perfect person’ – how her words from ten years ago became my guiding principle
📖Author: Nao
There are some tweets I wrote when I was ill and not quite myself.
At the time, I didn’t realise they were her (my friend’s) words.
X’s post: There’s no such thing as a perfect human being
There’s no such thing as a perfect human being
We’re not machines.
There’s no such thing as a perfect human being.
We cannot choose our parents before we are born
nor can we choose our genes or upbringing.
Our bodies are not designed to absolutely prevent disability, illness, or ageing.
If we could become perfect human beings, then…
— Nao (@naomina121) 24 September 2023
Original text: There is no such thing as a perfect human being
There is no such thing as a perfect human being
We are not machines.
There is no such thing as a perfect human being.
We cannot choose our genes or upbringing, just as we cannot choose our parents before we are born.
Our bodies are not designed to absolutely prevent disability, illness, or ageing.
If we could become perfect, everyone would be a good person.
And we know that’s not the case for everyone.
That’s precisely why,
in a world like this, I want to be someone who remembers kindness over being right.
It’s a rather commonplace sentiment, but actually, these words were influenced by something a friend I used to be close with said long ago.
At the time, I’d been friends with her for six years, but things went wrong and we drifted apart.
At that time, she sent me an email.
X’s Post: The Words She Sent Me
I can’t forget the words a friend from ten years ago said to me.
“I think most people drifted away because they found it difficult to relate to you as a person.
Firstly, your ideals for others are too high. People aren’t that perfect. And you yourself aren’t living up to those ideals. Then there’s the fact you impose them on others. …
— Nao (@naomina121) 16 April 2024
Original text: The message she sent me
I can’t forget the words a friend from ten years ago said to me.
“I think most people drifted away because of how difficult you were to relate to as a person. Firstly, the ideals you demand of others are too high.
People aren’t that perfect. And you yourself aren’t living up to those ideals. Yet you impose them on others.
This applies to relationships too – people aren’t that perfect.
And you, who act this way, are no different.
Even if your thinking isn’t wrong, you hold views that are out of step with ordinary people, yet you refuse to listen to others’ opinions at all.
In a way, that could be seen as a rather splendid way to live.
If you were a strong person. But you aren’t strong.
Haven’t you suffered all this time because of that gap?
Please try to view yourself objectively.
Are you really any different from those you’ve criticised for imposing their ideals?
I believe it’s only natural for people to have flaws somewhere.
I always thought you must be someone who finds life very difficult, precisely because your flaws lie in areas not universally understood, and you’re incapable of listening to others’ opinions.
Even so, I’ll say it again: I always believed you were the kind of person who would absolutely never communicate in this manner.
Because that was the ideal you held up, I think you could live more easily, as fundamentally you are someone who can consider others.
Her words saved me ten years later
How many people have hurt others because of their own weaknesses?
**That’s precisely why I confront my own cruelty and coldness, and struggle to keep them from surfacing. **
I reflected, and simultaneously, her words ‘Nobody is perfect’ became my creed.
After about ten years, the words that saved me during episodes of schizophrenia-related delusions and manic states remain unforgettable to this day.
People aren’t perfect, which is precisely why I want to be kind.
I intend to keep reminding myself of this constantly.